Irony: Deader Than a Doornail


Dolce & Gabbana and Sir Elton John: Of Fascists, Fatwas, and Fashionistas:

Synthetic Children From Wombs to Rent–was that a Roger Miller song, or am I losing it!


In German: “Ich bin schwul, ich kann keine Kinder haben. Ich denke, man kann nicht alles im Leben haben… Das Leben hat einen natürlichen Lauf, es gibt Dinge, die nicht geändert werden. Und eines davon ist die Familie.”

In Italian: Sono gay, non posso avere un figlio. Credo che non si possa avere tutto dalla vita, se non c’è vuol dire che non ci deve essere. È anche bello privarsi di qualcosa. La vita ha un suo percorso naturale, ci sono cose che non vanno modificate. E una di queste è la famiglia.

In English: “I’m gay, I can not have children. I guess you can not have everything in life … Life has a natural course, there are things that can not be changed. And one of them is the family.”  Domenico Dolce in an interview with Panorama Magazine


“…you are born and you have a father and a mother. Or at least it should be so, otherwise I am not convinced they are but what I call the children of chemistry, synthetic children. Wombs for rent, seeds selected from a catalog. And then go on to explain to these children who the mother is. But would she agree to be called the daughter of chemistry? Procreate must be an act of love–now even psychiatrists are prepared to deal with the effects of these experiments.” Domenico Dolce

We know who Dolce & Gabbana are. And we know that they sold their business to a Luxembourg-based holding company called Gado Srl. And we know that Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana control Gado. And we know Luxembourg is a popular spot for holding companies due to its banking industry and tax friendly status.  And we know that this caught the attention of Italian tax authorities who suspected that the duo undervalued the company for purposes of the sale in order to avoid paying tax on the transaction. And we know that the two men are billionaires.

And we know that

“…after seven years of legal troubles that included an acquittal from charges of fraud from a judge at the preliminary hearing level in 2011, a reversal at a higher court, new charges of tax evasion and two trials at lower courts, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana were cleared on October 24, 2014 of charges of tax evasion.”  Luisa Zargani, Women’s Wear Daily, 10/27/14

But what is this entity called Panorama Magazine? This is the Italian magazine that played host to the now infamous quote from Domenico Dolce wherein he referred to children conceived via in vitro fertilization (IVF) as “synthethic children.” We’ll come back to that. Ah…let’s go with Wikipedia on Panorama: The magazine is published by Arnoldo Mondadori Editore, the largest Italian publishing house. The publishing house is controlled by Fininvest, a financial holding company controlled by the family of Silvio Berlusconi, Italian prime minister until November 2011. Why is this important? Maybe it’s not; you decide.

When Sir Elton John had the utter temerity, the unmitigated gall, the oh just whatever to tell D & G where they could put their selected-from-a-catalog-seeds, Mr. Gabbana posted the word “Fascist” on Sir Elton’s Instagram page. Now, what Sir Elton said on his Instagram page was this:

“How dare you refer to my beautiful children as “synthetic”. And shame on you for wagging your judgemental little fingers at IVF – a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfil their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana”

And then  Stefano said:

“I mean, you preach understanding, tolerance, and then you attack others? “Only because someone has a different opinion? Is this a democratic or enlightened way of thinking? “This is ignorance, because he ignores the fact that others might have a different opinion and that theirs is as worthy of respect as this.”

And then Sir Elton got called “Taliban”:

“I’m with Dolce and Gabbana and I applaud their courageous statement, this is freedom of expression,” Roberto Formigoni, a senator with the New Centre Right, said as the row continued to make headlines around the world. “The campaign launched against the two stylists by Elton John is shameful and intolerable. Elton John is a Taliban, he is using against Dolce and Gabbana the same methods used by the Taliban against (the French satirical magazine) Charlie Hebdo.” “The opinions of Dolce and Gabbana are significant because they are both homosexual and they think along the same lines as the majority of Italians. A child needs a mother and a father, full stop,” said Mr Formigoni, a former ally of Silvio Berlusconi, the disgraced conservative prime minister, who has often made off colour jokes about homosexuals.

And then the Fatwa allegations came out:

Carlo Giovanardi, another senator with the New Centre Right, said: “The gay Taliban are trying to boycott Dolce and Gabbana just because they dared to say that … every child has a right to a mother and a father.” “Elton John is an intolerant person who wants to block anyone who thinks differently to him,” said Elvira Savino, an MP with Mr Berlusconi’s Forza Italia party. “The fatwa against Dolce and Gabbana is really hysterical and surprisingly un-British.” She feared the boycott against the Italian fashionistas might be “a premeditated action to damage one of the most famous exponents of ‘made in Italy’ in the world.”

And then Sir Elton (unclear if it was an elevation, a demotion or a lateral move) went from fascist Taliban to an “international leader.”

Forza Nuova, another right-wing party, said it would offer the Italian fashion designers honorary membership in solidarity with their support for traditional families. The party urged “all Italians to boycott Elton John, the international head of this racist, homosexual lobby which wants to undermine the natural order of things,” said its secretary, Roberto Fiore.

And then, it turns out, Mr. Gabbana is against that all sacred of cowabungas, marriage!!! In the same interview in Panorama Magazine, he was asked:

You would have married if it was possible?

His answer: “No, never. How can I swear to love and be faithful to one person forever? I never believed in marriage heterosexual or homosexual. It’s a promise you can not keep.”

For Gawd’s Sake…why didn’t you just say that to begin with??? Leave the kids out of it! The kids are all right!

Former Italian PM Berlusconi said in March 2011 that his government would “never” grant adoption or marriage rights to gays. He had also attracted ire previously while defending his private life, when he had said: “If I happen to look pretty girls in the face now and then, well then, it’s better to be a fan of pretty women than to be gay.”

But then…In what must surely be one of those crazy karmic WOWS, On June 30, 214, Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi signalled his support for the gay rights movement, reversing his previous stance. Berlusconi, who has always previously opposed extending rights to same-sex couples, declared that it is “everyone’s responsibility” to fight for gay rights.

Anna Wintour, Editor of Vogue, is one strong woman in fashion publishing, but even she will probably have her hands full with this latest of fashion faux pas of now more transparent origin. Advertising revenue from Dolce and Gabbana is thought to be worth an estimated $10 million to $20 million to Condé Nast’s titles, which also include Allure, Details, Condé Nast Traveler and GQ. Not that they would EVAH threaten to withdraw advertising support if Anna Wintour were to publicly support Sir Elton. Let’s be fair…just because it might have happened one time when the D and the G were under indictment for tax evasion, from which they were eventually found innocent, just because they didn’t want Vogue to print that kind of stuff…that doesn’t mean we have to go down every single alleyway looking for dirt on Mr. D and Mr. G.

After all, we’ll always have B & Z…bunga bunga (from a joke Mr. Berlusconi heard from Gaddafi) and zenga zenga (from Mr. Gaddafi himself…sort of).

All Aboard With the Rocket Man, his husband and their two ADORBS!!!


Screenshot 2015-03-17 22.06.22


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